Hey, Remember Herman Cain?

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain made a parody of the “This is Your Brain on Drugs” ad by having a sadistic Ayn Randian child dump a goldfish out on the ground to make a point about the value of stimulus?  And remember how he didn’t really nail the point because where the drug ad suggested taking drugs was like frying your brain, this ad’s two takeaways appear to be 1) the economy is epically doomed no matter what; and 2) somebody arrest that child!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain made revelatory points about gossip, sex and politics through mere gestures in a shoot accompanying his first post-campaign interview?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain made revelatory points about gossip, sex and politics through mere gestures in a shoot accompanying his first post-campaign interview?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain suspended his campaign instead of terminating it, so that he could keep accepting money from rubes?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain suspended his campaign instead of terminating it, so that he could keep accepting money from rubes?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain left us with this?

Hey, remember that time the Herman Cain for President store described these shirts like so:

Support the campaign in this designer burnout t-shirt.

Herman Cain: Designer Burnout!

Hey, remember that time the Herman Cain for President store described these shirts like so:

Support the campaign in this designer burnout t-shirt.

Herman Cain: Designer Burnout!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain’s mistress Ginger White said, “One time we were having sex, and I was looking up at the ceiling,   thinking about, ‘What am I going to buy at the grocery store tomorrow?   What am I going to do with my kids tomorrow?’”  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain’s mistress Ginger White said, “One time we were having sex, and I was looking up at the ceiling, thinking about, ‘What am I going to buy at the grocery store tomorrow? What am I going to do with my kids tomorrow?’”  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain quit running for President and tried to leave on an inspiring note, beginning, I kid you not, by saying “I believe these words came from the Pokemon movie…”?  Wow, that was really really really out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain quit running for President and tried to leave on an inspiring note, beginning, I kid you not, by saying “I believe these words came from the Pokemon movie…”?  Wow, that was really really really out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain quit running for President and explained to his  supporters that this was a good thing because, “Six months ago, most of you had never heard of me.  You have now.  A lot  of what you’ve heard is not true, but I’ve got your attention,” which might equally serve as the basis for a Jerry Sandusky political campaign?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain quit running for President and explained to his  supporters that this was a good thing because, “Six months ago, most of you had never heard of me.  You have now.  A lot of what you’ve heard is not true, but I’ve got your attention,” which might equally serve as the basis for a Jerry Sandusky political campaign?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Sean Hannity suggested that there would have to be hotel videotapes that could disprove Ginger White’s claims that she had a 13-year affair with Cain, and Herman cut him off, saying

Sean, do me a favor.  Let’s not play detective.  Here’s the deal. I am  going to prove that — I am going to re-establish my character.  OK?    We’re working on that.  My attorney is working on that.  We’re going to  work on that.  But I don’t want to play detective right now, with all due respect.   OK?   Because I want to — I want to do the assessment that we’ve got to  do, and every time a new bit of information comes up, that stimulates  another story in the media, and that hurts my family and my wife and it  hurts me.  So I really rather not go there anymore with respect to trying to play detective about how do we resolve this,

instead of agreeing that video evidence disproving Ginger White’s claims would help resolve the issue?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Sean Hannity suggested that there would have to be hotel videotapes that could disprove Ginger White’s claims that she had a 13-year affair with Cain, and Herman cut him off, saying

Sean, do me a favor.  Let’s not play detective.  Here’s the deal. I am going to prove that — I am going to re-establish my character.  OK?  We’re working on that.  My attorney is working on that.  We’re going to work on that.  But I don’t want to play detective right now, with all due respect.  OK?  Because I want to — I want to do the assessment that we’ve got to do, and every time a new bit of information comes up, that stimulates another story in the media, and that hurts my family and my wife and it hurts me.  So I really rather not go there anymore with respect to trying to play detective about how do we resolve this,

instead of agreeing that video evidence disproving Ginger White’s claims would help resolve the issue?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain said that he had given money to Ginger White as a friend to help her out in difficult times but hadn’t told his wife about it, and then told Sean Hannity that his wife had “forgiven” him, which seemed a bit odd, right?  She forgave him for the transgression of helping somebody without her knowledge?  That was pretty out there!

Hey, remember that time Herman Cain said that he had given money to Ginger White as a friend to help her out in difficult times but hadn’t told his wife about it, and then told Sean Hannity that his wife had “forgiven” him, which seemed a bit odd, right?  She forgave him for the transgression of helping somebody without her knowledge?  That was pretty out there!